girls will always be girls.

Crush; is it that suddenly happy, suddenly nervous 

non localized feeling somewhere aroundur mid gut to mid section .

 is it the butterflies doing plies in the pit of ur stomach

 or that all consuming high that fills your heart 

making you feel like you're about to burst.

_____________________________________

Whatsoever, it was curiosity that had me riffling through his pictures,

 and damn he really looks like Aaron Johnson. (Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging guy)

 i'm trying to find out what drew him to me in the first place.

Today

.Startling realization that i love crushes, makes me feel like a child again.

 i love the unexpected thump of my heart when he's near, the mixture of anxiety and nervousness 

when he looks at me with those blue-ish eyes. t

he little smile on my face as he sneaks a glance at me when he thinks i'm not looking. 

Methinks he likes me but we both know it'd never be, so i just crush, and enjoy the feeling!

*sigh*
i'm a Disney girl through and through.
And a hopeless romantic. Pfft

divorced from reality.

I can not say Goodbye I just can't say "I have to go" i just.. leave.

When I get close to someone it's different, I'll talk to that person, share with her my thoughts and emotions and sometimes, just sometimes, they become family to me.

 Some of my friends are so close to me that I call them family. I

 I won't let anyone see my pain, won't let them think I'm down.

 I am going to be that girl you met, the one who hid her pain and tried to be there for others.

okey?

and thats just a R.I.P-post to our friend Savvas

it's been five years..

To you, our friend, thank you for being in our lifes

. I love you and I'll always love and remember you.

 It's time to go, but you will always live in my heart and my memories.

i wish you'll keep haunting me in my dreams, it feels good.

some pretty thoughts. coooooming'

In the deepest midst of winter,

All I can really think about are summer & icecreams..

 Need to get my layering head on.

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

The sad thing is not about discovering that

your prince is already commited to someone else.

What's truly pathetic is how you try to snatch 

the princess role for yourself, when in reality 

you're just the witch who gets in the way.

- I cant stop falling in love with YOU. -

aw my tiger got older.

Oh yeah, Jason Swift just turned 19. 

Happy birthday! I love you to pieces. ( well, you already knew that.)

 You make me laugh, give pitch-perfect advice, 

and cook up the most delicious  bolognese, what if i dont eat it?. 

You're hilarious to gossip with and such a joy to confide in. 

You are cute and hot and you are all mine. YAAY.

and i really really really adore you! and i miss you.

that will be your first birthday apart from me. 

It's funny how life changes. 

I hope you'll throw the best party in London.

love and kisses from dad and bro. x

(okey, ive called you and told you more personal things and stuff

but okeeeh, thats just typical. huh. )

you know you want that.

They are calling your name, all of your names. 

screaming "EAT ME! EAT ME!"

 they know you want them, 

their light fluffy vanilla-almond cakey goodness covered in powdered sugar,

 fresh raspberry whipped cream smashed between their two halves... 

"EEEEAAAT MEEEEE!"
yes, yes, you will eat them. you will.

but hell NO, you just remembered

"i'm a fat brat"

you won't obey them, you'll stay on your way to become skinny.

that's life.

*  ABC diet started today.*

NOTE TO SELF: STOP EATING,START STARVING.

wise owl is back #5

"Sometimes a bad experience can change a person's life for better or worse.

  You're lucky; for you, things only got better... "

so a conversation between me and my bro,Jonathan Charles.

okey, let's name him just Joe. much better now.

-

JAS PART NOW <3

i know that i love him, but not in which way.

I mean we grew up together, how cant i love him?

but what about the relationship part? ahm, we can work it out.

he- called me beautiful last night,
but i just dont see it.
i really dont.

high heels,blackberry and some martini, please.

 don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot”. 

-Marilyn Monroe

tacco belly!

i mean really, are you serious?

you may be my ex and i dont care.

BUT have you seen her belly? it's oversized, double than yours.

how the hell can she sit on your lap while you kiss her? eh?

how the hell can you kiss her after all? 

and i dont care if that sounds racist.

and i dont care if she's fun to be around, 

or if she does a good blowjob or whatever.

she's so pathetic

aand i'm so jealous, i admit it.

but she's sooo FAT and UGLY

with a meaty tacco belly!

I watch my cigarette smoking itself.

For just one moment, 

I’d like to be the person inside my head. 

I want to give voice to the words running in my head because inside, they are loud and they are powerful

 For just one moment, 

I want to live in the ultimate utopia, not the corporative utopia, not the religiously sought out utopia,

 but the one where justice is of the banner of hope.

For just one moment… 

so what about being reasonable?

How the hell can you think that there's a "magic recipe" 

that'll make you da best, the faster and the whippiest?

WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.

There are no secrets to success.

It's the result of preperation, hard work, hours of crying and learning from failure.

When the pool becomes your home, then you're on the right path.

what a lovely mess.

You are the peanut butter to my sandwich,  my nutella Panini to my breakfast,

 the lemon sauce at my pancakes,  the frosting to my cake.

thanks for being so Allie.

Do we have to be a "couple" to let me know what you think?

you, idiot. you know you've always loved me:$

away in my randomness.

tell me what you know, what you know about dreaming.

cause i think i'm in the middle of a dream right now.

I remember the moment he told me he liked me. 

We were walking through a random small park in NY.

I was dating someone else, someone who was intimidated by our relationship, or he seemed to be.

I thought he was so brave for getting that out,after all he was my brother's bestie for years.

 But then again, he knew me so well, he knew it wouldn’t scare me away but only pull me closer.

 He ended up taking a push down the stairs for me, because of my bro.

My boyfriend saw the truth in our relationship and broke up with me.

But you know what? I love Jas. I always had, i always will.

NOW we're officially "dating"

I'm in Monaco, he's studying in London. But there's no problem.

Every second weekend he flies down to Paris and i'll take the train for him.

he's the prince, i mean, he's cute and totally a gentleman.

thats really all i care about.

and i'm really both happy & excited right now.

"i need a hug" mood.

I can see the blood rushing a frenzy through the veins beneath my eyelids,

 feel the steady throbbing of my heart as the world around me warps to meet its rhythm. 

I open my eyes, squinting like a newborn 

- isn't it funny how the last moments of ones life so replicate the first - 

and find myself face to face with time.

 He speaks in riddles, twisting and turning around himself 

until all I hear is a steady pounding beat in time once again with my heart.

.

i could belong here.

 

Wherever you go,

 no matter what the weather,

 always bring your own sunshine.

-

Wish I had a mango tree in my backyard.

i adore my camera. 

I love seeing the world through the lens of a camera. 

You can capture a moment, an emotion, a second in time that will never occur again. 

I love looking back at the pictures I take and seeing something new for the first time, 

because even the photographer doesn't even always notice 

how beautiful something is at first glance.

one of my next posts will be with some photos of mine. x

licky licky yum yum.

You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum

Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie

You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop

Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye

And I love you so and I want you to know

That I'll always be right here

And I love to sing sweet songs to you

Because you are so dear

TOO CUTE. haha

neverland.

 It is the worst feeling in the world to genuinely need someone.

And they just not be there.

Last night was the longest night of my life.
I have never been more sick of me.
It was disgusting.

I don't even know what I feel at the moment.
Everything feels fuzzy. 

You know what?
SOMETHING IS MISSING.

I wish I could sleep.

and when i wake up just forget everything about my past.

(miss you, love you, need you.)

wise owl #4

Do you wanna me to be honest?

I don't feel a bit well or anything.

I feel like crap, i wanna vomit.

and vomit, and vomit.

and y know the problem is that i feel that he's still mine.

and i cant stand it anymore.

cause it aint the naked truth.

-

My brother is sick

aw. my poor baby.

he told me that 

i should look up to the sky.

at the stars,  how they shine for me.

Every single day i admit it, that he's wise and right. 

(even though he's ill,huh)

but i just cant think like that, not for a long time.

strawberry jungle.

Next  destination: Jordan.

I mean, it must be awesome down there.
something different.

i wanna dive and float in Dead See,

take a ride on a camel,

visit the the Nature Reserves, 

go hiking Petra’s Siq.

Have you ever gone down there? 

Let me know, x

i picked my own star.

 

just an update.

I am currently just sitting in my room typing this blog. 

My vanilla cupcake is burning on my night stand( i wanna eat it,but it cant) 

and Colbie Caillat is playing.

I love days like this. Nothing to do, just doing...nothing. 

Theres something so great about not having any thing to do 

and being able to do whatever you want.  

Its the last day of this. 

I go back to school on Monday and I'm dreading it.

I am jealous. 

I want a guy. Even if its just a simple little crush, 

the feeling you get from them are great. 

Something to wake up excited about, 

someone who makes me want to look my best and put my makeup on for

* 1st day its OVER & i'm hungry. *

secrets of a wild child

Insomnia is a little bitch , isn't she?

 Sometimes it can be wonderful though 

because you get to experience a few hours of solitude

along with your friends, the shadows and the stars..

on my way to be skinny, coming?

Well, i'm thinking of starting the "General Motors" diet.

Actually, i start from tommorow. 

i became a fatass and chubby in 3 weeks. 

ew

Starting from 62.5 kg.

Goal Weight: 55kg and less.

please let me have control, that is all i want. 

with control, i cant have it all. 

i can be beautiful, skinny & fragile. 

i can have confidence and feel right in clothes.

i want to feel pain,
i dont want to feel anything.
im a mess.

WISH ME LUCK, CAUSE THE JOURNEY STARTS!

dear stomach, please stop cooing.

keep calm and carry on.

All I seem to do is get annoyed at silly people and silly things at the moment. 

No, it's not hormones and no, I'm not overly tired or anything t

hat might explain my increasing irritation towards the human race. 

I have come to the conclusion 

that I'm just reaching the end of my tolerance for idiots. 

I am annoyed at lazy people who cannot organise their lives enough

 to be able to do their own stuff, 

and instead, sit back and watch, refusing to interact 

whilst everyone else runs 'round like a headless chicken doing everything.

And i'm also irritated with the others,who say, "all good things come to an end."

But, I don't believe in that bullshit. You shouldn't either.

What a terrible thing to think. And people say it with such fondness.

As though everything beautiful is only beautiful because it can't last forever.

What is forever? Forever is right now.

Forever is forever occurring.

I am forever.

And then, i hate thoose empty promises

I  have a co-worker who wears a promise ring. 

Her boyfriend of six months gave it to her. 

She's freshly sixteen.

I was just thinking that to her, that must mean the whole world. 

It must be so important to her. And yet, it's an empty promise.

And no, I ain’t jealous.

Anyways, I think the cold has made my brain into a viscous, unmoving syrup.

Ohh, and a question that had been on my mind for a while.

Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh?

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

* that was a kind-of big post, i'm sorry *