Monday, May 16, 2011

all it is, is slide the wakes.

Sorry i've been such a terrible blogger, but i have no time for such things.
I promise that i'll keep in touch with this blog as much as i can.

God, I miss my friends. I'm so lonely in Monaco, you have no idea.

Doesn't mean I'm alone, I'm mostly always surrounded by people who care about me
but still i dont feel that i belong here .. (once again)
But ...quality > quantity, you get what I'm saying?

This Sunday found me in Spetses, Greece among my beloved friends
I saw myself giving smiles away and getting almost wasted .
Sometimes i feel blessed that i have a grandfather with a yacht giving me 1day-trips. 
So, that was it, a great, exhilarating weekend in the 'ocean'

I adore rippling oceans.
People have stared at the endless masses of dark salt water 
that cover seven tenths of our world and, invariably, felt small, solitary, transient and awestruck.
It’s so surprising, that sea is the only thing on our earth
 that has remained virtually unaffected in several millenia.

Allie. xx

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Hate me, just because i want you really bad.

I want to be extremely skinny, okay? There, I've admitted it. AGAIN.
Anything changed? Nope.

Just when you think things are going well, something comes along and reminds you that life isn't fair, 
and you're not allowed to be happy,
 and you're not allowed to forget all the bad stuff
and you are not allowed to make anyone else happy because of your selfness.
i mean it was just a moment, i let myself live and cheer 
and then it happened. it was good, really good.
it's not that i miss you boy, is that i'm self-centered sometimes and i hate that
once again in public i'm admitting it. 'i am really sorry'

I would like to go somewhere where no one knows, and no one remembers. It's too hard being here now.
But i'm too strong,right? I'll stay here and face it. Just wish me luck, i need it.

Life is easy with eyes closed.

What if a demon were to creep after you one day or night, in your loneliest loneness
 and say: "This life which you live and have lived, must be lived again by you, and innumerable times more. 
And there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and every sigh— everything unspeakably small and great in your life—must come again to you, and in the same sequence and series.
" Would you not throw your self down and curse the demon who spoke to you thus?
Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment, 
in which you would answer him: "Thou art a god, and never have I heard anything more divine!" 

                                                                                              - Nietzsche, The Gay Science (1882)