Sunday, February 27, 2011

Who cares?


sex,drugs and rock n roll. 
weed, speed and bitch control. 
life's a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and let's get high.
this weekend was so.. awesome?

Saturday, February 26, 2011

blame the alcohol.


Yesterday was a greeeeeeeeeat party.I kind of danced my ass off.
All of the chicks in there were likee 
" If you wanna get with me there's some things you gotta know
I like my beats fast, and my bass down low. "
and thennn after a while the whole house was under the shouting of
' TEQUILAAAA BOOM BOOMMM'

today rock concert. yeapp, it's gonna be a longg night. -)
Allie. xx

Thursday, February 24, 2011

why is it so HOT in Feb?


WHOAA, i totally adore him.
He's the guy, my parents had warned me about.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

that's so inconvenient.



“I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt you planned on falling in love with me. 
But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. 
We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, 
*something rare and beautiful was created.
 For me, love like that has happened only once 
and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. 
I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”
                              
                                                                    -The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

copycats?

Ιs it me or "xoxo" from GG is spreading around on Twitter- /Βlogspotland?
 And is it me or it completely sucks?

how can i get rid of that?


I have the feeling I might be about to get myself in to something that I don't think I'm strong enough to handle.
 I'm not sure, but I just have a weight in my stomach.
Don't know whether I should walk down the road or run away,again. ...

I can smile and laugh until everyone believes i'm happy.
But the truth is, i'm not even okey.

Let me breath again.

need you to know that I am always going to be here. 
No matter what. So long as you know that, everything else will work out OK? x
i totally miss you hottie bear. <3

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Big lights will inspire you.



- Where are the people? it's a little lonely in the desert...
- It is lonely when you're among people too

overcome your fears.


It's so sad seeing 8-year-old girls caring that much about their appearance.
these obsessions destroy the pure childhood.

this reminds me of my swimsuit,i've been standing in front of the mirror and crying for hours
 because i felt like giant pudge. i was nine years old. third grade.
 it has to do with my brain chemistry. i’ve always felt big.

bitch mafia.


months. 
YEARS are more suitable.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

you don’t know me at all.


i really miss dancing. so much.
i miss the feeling that you get when you overcome an obstacle.
when you get your new ballet shoes/pointe. 
when you can hear to your teacher cheering you and applauding.
when you are on the stage, and there's a three-some: you,the stage & the music.

i hope that someday i'll get the chance to start ballet again.
because deep inside i'm a whippy, la-di-da ballerina. 

Friday, February 18, 2011

shipping my oreo shake. x


weekend off the town.
i'm in London, biatch. x

Lovedrunk.

I totally adore Cam Gigandet. 
he's an orgasm on leeegs.

Oh, and if you have some free time with nothing to do, go and see "Burlesque"
it's amazing. not only the concept but also the actors/actresses.



and it just fades away..


There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, 
the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again. 
If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.

Ι wish I were again the 7-year-old girl with the dirty-blonde hair and the bright smile
, who wanted to become a ballerina.
I would have taken another part in my life, i wouldnt be so ashamed of me right now.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

When I look at you, my mind goes on a trip


when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.... 
How can you hide from what never goes away?
I'm the cause of all of this. I pushed him away, only to then realise my feelings. 
and that's so inconvenient.
I hate myself for loosing him . .

'Strength is nothing more than how well you hide your pain'

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Dancing under the stars

The top gets higher the more that I climb`
and that's driving me insane.

I know I'm not fat.
It's worse, I'm average. 
Anyone can be fucking ΑVERAGE.
I want to be thin.

FUCKING THINTHINTHIN.


Monday, February 14, 2011

i just fucking love you


Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart. x

Go Lakers, GOO!


5 4 3 2 1
Let's get it started now
Soon as the ball goes up you know it's going down
Soon as I hear the crowd there ain't no stopping now
Jump shake move break let me hear the earthquake
Jump shake move break let me hear the people say
Go, Lakers, GO!

since i was in my early childhood, i was in love with em
Lamar Odom. <3

* but for sure i'm a Celtics girl *

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Must you disappear, into the setting sun?


I'm currently lying in bed re-living my childhood reading The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, 
I wish I could disappear into my wardrobe into a magical land and just leave everything behind me. 
Eventually, i'm not that good in handling stress and difficult situations.

*oh, i totally adore both song and Amanda Seyfried.*
She's beautiful.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

keep sinking.


don't know who I am anymore.
 I feel as if my mind has been torn apart into two completely different people.
 One side of me is telling me that there's a skinny bitch hid inside of me somewhere, 
and if I just persevere starving, I will find happiness and be beautiful and thin.
 But then the other half is asking me what the fuck I am doing to myself, 
I can't sleep, my life is literally controlled by numbers on scales and food packets.

-
I have a list of other problems that need attention too.
I feel like all I'm doing in life is making my way through it. No true direction.
 I should be doing and focusing on that but I can't cuz I'm too busy thinking of someone who isn't thinking of me.
 I know my problem not yours, but still...
Ηοw can i get rid of you? i cant move on,when you're still here.
'why does this boy have my heart, when he doesn't even deserve it?'
-

Friday, February 11, 2011

Coincidence? I think not.



GUESS MY FIRST  SAT SCORE.
 2290/2400. 

EAT MY SHIT, BIATCHEEES.
it's the highest in 10th Grade, and i'm so over-excited.
oh yeah. oh yeaaah 
i feel like partyingggggg'

where is my mind?


Well, officially i adore hate my brother. (hum,yeah, NOT true)
He is off to skiing in Courchevel for a couple of days, its so UNFAIR!
Yeah, and he'll be like there in a hot tube in a brownstone saltbox,
 with squabs all over him. (GRR DO NOT TOUCH HIM)
i'm so jealous of him, for real, it feels like back stabbing!

Anyone who wants to go skiing in St.Moritz for my break?
i HOPE that i'll have the opportunity to go skiing/snowboardin/hot-hunting 
even in a paraplegic ski resort, f.e. Arahova,Greece. 
(hahaha, sorry greek babes, i heart youu.)

book of bones.


I cant remember a time when i didn't have an eating disorder.
have you ever exercised that much, just because you wanted to faint?
yeah, i've done that and i were in 4th Grade.
I felt beautiful and fragile while i was hungry. but at the same time, it was killing me.
I thought by vomiting i could gain control, i would have been good enough.

I secretly fight against bulimia, for years.
No one in "real" life really knows about that, they think i'm strong to handle anything.
And i just don't want to talk about that in public,because i'm afraid of changes.

I never felt that I've recovered from this ED.
She's always there, somewhere deep in my soul
it's the first thing, i'm thinking about when i eat.
and no i don't need medical help. treatment didn't work.

i felt like posting about that, i'm not sure whether i'll keep that post.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

when the dreams come true.

i'm not a stop along the way, i'm the destination, honey
So I'm moving on, letting go.
How far is heaven?

I'm not as nice as I used to be, because I don't want to get used, or walked over.
I don't trust everyone, because behind every fake smile is a back stabbing bitch.
I distance myself from people, because in the end, they're only going to leave.
I changed because I realised I can only depend on myself.


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

somewhere in monaco.



it may my preview post be some seconds away, but i'm extremly bored.
i dont even know why im blogging.
guess its partly beacause im taking bro's advice, although he told me to blog to stave off boredom.
but right now i need to write to let out frustration and overexcitement.
banging the keyboard helps.

yes, i am a nice church girl selfish spoiled brat
 but, i'm sick of not being happy.
 i'm sick of being miserable and torturing myself.
i'm over self saccrifice bullshit.
 i don't care, i want to be happy,
 and if that means being a selfish rotton bitch then i will have to be one.
and you know " when i'm good, i'm good but when i'm bad, i'm better"
i'm your Alpha, you are my Beta. that's life.
 you chose your way, whore. ha-ha.

no soya milk, means no cereal.


I'm soo frustrated, Inez havent bought some soya milk.
is she seriouus? she knows that i HATE any other type of milk.
and now i wanna eat some colorful cereal.

This picture is sooo Allie.
When i'm really bored, or i dont wanna eat or smth
i'll always try to create a figure of smthing , aint that awesome?
i'm sureeeee that everyone does it. haha.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Colour my life with the chaos of trouble


Right now I feel like crap, every single part in my body hurts. 
I think I'm going to eat some vitamins next, so I would get better or something.
 After that I think I'm taking a long, hot shower and a facial. 
I really hate winter, I feel like I'm freezing nonstop, wherever I am
________________________________


he tastes just like glitter mixed with rock’n’roll.
i miss his soft lips, and his sparkling diamond eyes.
his abecrombie smell and wavy hair. 
10 days left.


Happiness is like peeing in your pants.
Everyone can see it, but only YOU can feel the warmth.
and i really feel like peeing down there.




Sunday, February 6, 2011

get naked, now.


Anyway after a long, scalding shower I am now tucked cozily in my bed.
 I ache everywhere. 
I am sore in muscles that I had no idea even existed.
 But this is a good thing and I'm actually pretty happy about it 
because I pushed myself and accomplished something even when I thought I couldn't. 

And yes, I will stick with the this power-thing class. 
It's still way more entertaining than the gym!

I'm so hangovered, last night some guys came over and we had such a riot.
We just sat in a circle playing Truth or Dare, Strip Poker and that kind of shit.
We've been drinking and laughing, listening to house vibes till the morning light
but now, i feel so shitty, and i'm soo sorry daddy for the mess.
hope you dont get mad when you read this. miss you. 
* i know you're reading my blog*
your princess, Allie  x

Saturday, February 5, 2011

wise owl #6

My brother just sent me in an e-mail this quote
"You can spend, minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation;
 trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened - 
or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."
..
In three words i can sum up what i've learned about life
IT GOES ON

and that's what i gonna do. 
you had a chance.
BYE BYE.

once upon a time i didnt give a damn but now, here we are. so what do you want from me?


Sometimes I close my eyes and see the back of my eyelids,
 other times I see a world full of vines and layers that may never properly be explored.
Welcome to my world.

She slowly raised his head, meticulously weaving together the words that she wanted to say to him 
as her gaze rose from his toes, his feet, his ankles, his knees, his waist.
  She closed her eyes, for a moment she thought she was going to pass out. 
 She had almost fully formulated a sentence when she opened her mouth, and then opened her eyes.
She was alone.  
She heard the bell of the bakery door ringing as it was opened and then closed, 
and she saw him walking, growing smaller and smaller until he was only a silhouette
 and there was not even a hint of crimson in sight.
The mistakes are there, waiting to be made

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Where have the organisation gone?



don't know about you, but today was a very busy day for me.
 Not to mention- EXHAUSTING!
 I slept 3 hours last night and literally, was walking around like a zombie all morning
. Luckily enough, I have "friends" who immediately wake me up by making me laugh. Bless 'em.
So, I guess I have some kind of sleeping difficulties. 
I find it hard to fall asleep & I will do anything to avoid it- bath, read, phone, anything. 
However, yesterday, I had an actual reason why I wasn't snoozing in my comfy bed: homework
 ARGH! What a pain! 

hmmm ..
Any ideas on how to motivate myself to do homework earlier and get myself to bed at a decent time?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

fuck dat.


____ 
i ate too much tonight,
hopefully an overestimation.
this is what happens when i spend an evening at home.
this is why i have to leave,
they cant know.
i feel so sick.

a wish.
when will enough be enough?

i need some attention, whore.

Hanna: You're my best friend.

Mona: We were best friends. Now, you're just someone I used to hang out with.

It just fuckin' happened. and i lost you.
we werent "ohh cuties besties" but we were pretty close enough to be my bestie.
i loved you much more than a friend.
and we ruined it. sorry for i-dont-know-what-happened
and hell no, i dont blame you.
but, just remember i'm still allie, and you are still jannie.
miss you biatch. x

(i adore pretty little liars, haha.)