book of bones.

I cant remember a time when i didn't have an eating disorder.

have you ever exercised that much, just because you wanted to faint?

yeah, i've done that and i were in 4th Grade.

I felt beautiful and fragile while i was hungry. but at the same time, it was killing me.

I thought by vomiting i could gain control, i would have been good enough.

I secretly fight against bulimia, for years.

No one in "real" life really knows about that, they think i'm strong to handle anything.

And i just don't want to talk about that in public,because i'm afraid of changes.

I never felt that I've recovered from this ED.

She's always there, somewhere deep in my soul

it's the first thing, i'm thinking about when i eat.

and no i don't need medical help. treatment didn't work.

i felt like posting about that, i'm not sure whether i'll keep that post.