A year older.

well, look at the date.

the time just flew by.

 TOMORROW IS NEW YEAR.

new beggining. new friends. new places. new memories. 

 but everything old is still there. the past never goes away. 

i dont feel ashamed of my past. 

i dont think ive ever done anything to regret. or anything to regret that much. 

sure i regret things ive done.

 im not going to waste my future worrying about the past and things that happened and friends ive lost.

 though you always miss a friend. im not going to lie about that. 

but thats that. 

but thats what a new year is for. 

you make new friends. you cant replace the old ones.

I can't even begin to describe how quickly this year has passed me by, 

yet how wonderfully and exhilarating it has been.

 I think everyone grows a little ever year, and I feel that this time isn't any different. 

So much has changed in the past twelve months. 

the memories of how my year started still remain vivid in my mind.

May this New Year bring newly found prosperity, love, happiness and delight in your lifes.

xx

----

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.
 A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."

the only way to begin the first day of a new year is celebrating with the people you love around you.

2011 RESOLUTIONS

I'm not really big on the whole New Year's resolutions thing.  

I think it's because I resolve things all year long, and then I quickly drop those resolutions when I realize 

a) I'm bad at the task, or b) it takes too much effort 

I've learned not to voice my resolutions.

 i dont even get why people need to have them in the first place.

i mean, if you're gonna make resolutions, why wait for new years. 

why cant u just wake up one morning and say "hey im gonna do this today"

 or "im gonna accomplish this right here right now".
why do we have to wait for the 1st of each year to come around 

and go like "THIS YEAR, im gonna do this n this n this.."
i dont see the point..

 isnt it better to set goals for life?.
no time limits. no deadline. no "by 31st december 2011 i must either look either anorexic or i must die".
i cant work with deadlines.

i'm a creep, i'm a weird-o.

It's weird, really.

 I can't explain it. I've never been in love with myself. 

Not a Narcissus kind of love, but a self-accepting kind.

 I've never looked in the mirror and felt that feeling, like I'm so blessed to look and be the way I am. 

I guess that's normal; not a lot of people in this day and age can actually say that they like themselves, 

with all those strict standards in society of who you're supposed to be.

 But my insecurities were never really swayed by society. 

I just... don't like myself. I don't know. 

Rock Concert 29/12

Last night I went to a concert thing (Under 20's, local college bands etc)

 Cute, lol

. Anyway I dragged my best friend along to it 

because I love the end bit when he offers me his jacket. 

hehe.

 Well I was there having a fairly good time. 

I mean it was drug free and there were quite a few kids around, 

y'know how they are.

1. Joey Flanagan

2. John & Kairlyn

3. Marine

homesick.

I totally love "The Grinch" movie. <3
-

i've never been homesick in my life.

 this kicks in now, when i am in the most amazing place on earth.

 there has to be something wrong with me.

i don't even know, for which place i'm homesick.

i'm not Greek, neither American.
My roots from France, do i really miss France?

My place in Monaco? i only lived there for a month.

nah,whatever..

My own dirty little secret-

I'm in love with the whole-ring-thing.

I am sick.

I just can't bring myself to tell people yet.

It's secrets like this that will devour my soul. 

My insecurities are eating me alive.

I wanna run away,

Before this gets out of control.

Before I say things people aren't ready for.

Before people realise my secrets.

Before I talk myself in and out of things again. 

I am running away

running far and fast.

inpermanent love.

i totally ADORE this coach bag.

Ain't she a cutie?

Whatever, i'm going to sleep again. 

i'm too exhausted. xx

LBS

My dad asked me

"How the hell can I second that?"

Uhm,i dont know, i really dont know,

but i second that.

..

wise owl #1

Well, i have an one-year-older brother, Joe.

Yesterday morning we had a conversation in Starbucks about my.. ex.

(it still sounds funny to me, that he became my ex.)

While coming to a conclusion he told me

"You've got a face for a smile,you know"

And yeah i feel like he was right, AGAIN.

Walking back home i had a smile on my face, and I could feel my eyes sparkling.

Indescribable feeling its a bright future after all - the only thought that had been on my mind the whole day.

And I smile again. 

thanks for being here ... thanks.

xx

girl's day out.

Holla chicas,

Yesterday we went shopping with Ellene and her sister in 5th.

That made me feel a bit better, to be honest.

Macy's Department, 4th Floor.

Yeah, i think thats paradise.

Ben&Jerry's Ice Creams.

Chunky Monkey Milkshake.

Chocolate Therapy Ice Crean.

(i bought like 4 of this for home)

<3

Yeah, in general i spent a LOT of money. :/

Abercrombie&Fitch: 2 tank tops and plaid jeggings, 

From a store at Macy's(cant remember from which) a pair of destroyed black jeggings.

Apple Store: new ipod,

  Hugo Boss: i've been deliverd a jacket for my brother

Disney store: some toys from "santa" for my younger brother

Gap: 2 spring-type pullovers(ivory and light blue)

 Cartier: a watch. (the present from my mum to dad for christmas)

.

Are promises really made to be broken?

okey, i eat nutella right now.

and i dont care about the calories at all.

i'm a broken-hearted girl, isn't that a quite good excuse?

You shattered everything.

i thought you loved me whatever what.

that was what you've said.

 -

I sat on the bed, motionless and unable to breathe.

 I shut my eyes and breathed slowly, trying to regain my control. 

My sweaty hand reaching for my phone again, which was lying beside me on the bed.

 I pressed the letter D and  name immediately appeared along with many other names in my phone book. 

I punched the delete key, deleting him from my phone and my life, for good.

maybe you were right, its over .

i loved you, i really had.

(and there's nothing between me and Jas)

strawberries.

woke up in an awful mood with a headache. 
dreams about weird shit always get to me. 

and it's still 2:47am.

fuckk.

I HAAAAAAAAATE JET LAG MOOD.

Uhm, and i started eating crap.

ben&jerry's fault, i'm a milkshake addict.

I have always been skinny(and underweight)

and now that i've gained some weight,

i'm sooooo chopfallen.

So bloggy, we making a deal. Okey?

No junks, sugar in moderation.

Every morning a smoothie(with fruits made by Annie)

and evenings a plate full of fruits,exotic ones. 

Wish me luuuck!

i have sooo much to do today.

I'm like reading right now "To kill a mocking bird"

(fuckin' school project.)

Only a week of holidays left.

My to-do list for the whole day:

-read 5 chapters of "To kill a mocking bird"

-write chemistry essay

-clean my room

-take a shower&facial

- meet my bestie in ben&jerry's

& go down shopping 5th Ave.

- excersise a bit, running and weights.

- SLEEP normal, in like 9/10pm

kisses.  xx

Ho,ho,ho. It's Christmas time.

Ho, ho, ho 

It's Christmas time 

We celebrated my bf's sister birthday in the "The Boom Boom Room"

i LOVED this place.

Actually, the whole NYC by night was amazing.

This morning the wake-up was kind of cruel.

BUT i was surprised to find fresh pineapple on the fridge.


Ohhh, and HE was there.
i'm extremlyyy over-over-over-happy right now.
*.*

how was your Christmas Eve?

Get ready ladies, partyy time.

PHILIPPA'S

PARTY TONIGHT.

WOOHOOOO

oh, i need you.

Good thing fucking NEVER last.

i should never never never again be over happy 

(okey, well NOT but thats what i feel like now.)

well, just so you know, 

you are really good at breaking my heart

and turing my stomach into knots.

i'm attempting the impossible.
i have no other choice.

And then you are yelling at me,

about what have i done.

Its not my fault, i've felt so insecure.

But boy, i want you back.

To be honest i NEED you right now.

Our whole relationship now is a mess.

Is that because i left? or because you are jealous?

Give me a reason.

We were together, since we were like toddlers.

How can you forget all these?

Oh boy, oh boy.

-Daniel, please read this.I need you back-

all i need is love.

All we need is love.

a little confused, but happy... 

well maybe not even confused, 

but something is lingering in me underneath my happiness. 

it isn't bad, but its there.

I'm not feeling the christmas spirit so much this year...
Which is really sad because I love the holidays. I miss it.
No one seems to care anymore. 
I'm tired of fighting everything.
 I wasn't purposefully trying to get you mad,you know.

So, my feeling for Dan are coming back,
or they didnt fade away at all.(?)


Do you love me? Prove it.
.And you know boy, i miss you.
i really miss you.

Ι'm a swimmer, after all.

Chlorine is my perfume.

I love swimming, after all i'm a swimmer since i was like 4.

11 years doing laps, hours of hard training and tears.

But uhm yeah, i love it. 

I'm a masochist. kay?

. Diving in is a great way to start the day and end it too. 

There is something special about the pools,the way they smell.

it's so familiar, it's my home.

too much is never quite enough

i live a life of excess.

 too much is never quite enough. i need more. 

being content is something i don't know how to feel.

 i have to be so fucking high or low,

 the grey area of just being okay isn't a place i venture very often as it comes with feelings.

I've always thought that if things didn't turn out the right way, it was my fault, my decisions, my expectations. It was always this way, and I ended up short changing myself, telling myself that hey, things didn't work out because you didn't try hard enough, or I could have done it better. Then I tell the world that it was so, to convince myself. I don't see the point in painting myself as the victim or cry buckets. My friends think I'm amazingly strong. I think it's just how you choose to live life.

Whatever, its christmas time.

Are you a good driver?

Uhm, what about me? 

My name is Allie, i live in Monaco and in general i'm happy and outgoing.

I've started this blog, because my previous one was deleted by i-dont-know-who.

so...   welcome me back. xx