california girl, show your teeth

My soul is a hidden orchestra; I know not what instruments,

 what fiddlestrings and harps,drums and tambours I sound and clash inside myself. 

All i hear is a symphony.         

                                                                              -Fernando Pessoa.

it's all about control.

I DON’T CARE WHAT MY THERAPIST SAYS, WHAT THE DOCTORS SAY, 

WHAT MY BROTHER SAYS OR WHAT THE FUCKING CHARTS SAY. 

I’M TELLING YOU THAT I KNOW MY OWN FUCKING BODY BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE.

 I’M THE ONE WHO LIVES WITH IT EVERY DAY

 AND I CAN PROMISE YOU THAT I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS FUCKING BIG.

the miserable queen.

Someone,somewhere, tell me how you can beat yourself up. 

Please explain, why the hell are we doing stupid,crazy things for people who break our hearts.

On a daily basis i feel so confused and angry about going along with whatever of going on.

I've tried to stop, but you're my dope. 

i cant live without thinking your existence. and i effing hate myself for doing that.

i just want you to be mine and i'll be yours.

please, help me fix that even if you havent that sexy british accent he has, please.

(okay,found out,thankks)

truth hurts.

 the binge monster is stalking the streets everywhere. 

I didn't run far enough, and got snatched by the bastard.

I’m sitting here eating a ton of m&m's ,and, drinking diet coke..

I’m like those people who order a billion super-sized things from McDonalds, 

but then get a diet coke…

THATS NOT GOOD.

i need to lose weight, i need to become a skinny bitch.

i dont want to be average anymore.

my wise owl is back #7

yesterday i felt all shitty.my sister is a attention whore. period.

sometimes i feel like i hate her, how can she be all 'woopie doopie' ?

whatsoever, we had a conv with my bro while shipping hot chocolate

and he told me again something that lighted me up. 

and that was only a simple phrase:

'The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.'

back for good.

Whew, it's been a while!

7 days lying down,being sick and with chondromalacia

my fluffy coach had literally taken the shape of my body...

i had watched at least 10 episodes of 90210 , 4 movies ,

 3 GG episodes, Glee and a whole season of Laguna Beach 

and skyped with at least 5 people ! being sick is amaze.

But now, i'm backk you crazy bitches. hahh

oh, and i created a tumblr. check it out please. xx

Allie,Sushi&Monaco.

ignorance is strength

i hope you knew how difficult is for me to pretend that there's nothing between us

you've got that charming, disarming smile and those beautiful eyes.

that so familiar smell and your preppy look.

its funny how things change, you know.

i mean, how can you pretend that you dont care, at all?

hah, i told you that i still love you and you laughed.

you told me that you love me back and you cuddled me.

thanks for those precious moments.

i dont have the strength to ignore you, i'm not that strong.

i'd never been, just for you to know..

sorry i dont mean to be rude.

Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me

shining like stars.

when I was a baby, my mommy dropped me in a box of glitter. I've been shining ever since.

true fact , and i'm totally bored of being so shiny.

oh, you think you can tell?

She hurts and she cries but you cant see the depression in her eyes,
 because she just smiles.