all it is, is slide the wakes.

Sorry i've been such a terrible blogger, but i have no time for such things.

I promise that i'll keep in touch with this blog as much as i can.

God, I miss my friends. I'm so lonely in Monaco, you have no idea.

Doesn't mean I'm alone, I'm mostly always surrounded by people who care about me

but still i dont feel that i belong here .. (once again)

But ...quality > quantity, you get what I'm saying?

This Sunday found me in Spetses, Greece among my beloved friends
.I saw myself giving smiles away and getting almost wasted .
Sometimes i feel blessed that i have a grandfather with a yacht giving me 1day-trips. 

So, that was it, a great, exhilarating weekend in the 'ocean'

I adore rippling oceans.

People have stared at the endless masses of dark salt water 
that cover seven tenths of our world and, invariably, felt small, solitary, transient and awestruck.

It’s so surprising, that sea is the only thing on our earth
 that has remained virtually unaffected in several millenia.

Allie. xx

Hate me, just because i want you really bad.

I want to be extremely skinny, okay? There, I've admitted it. AGAIN.

Anything changed? Nope.

Just when you think things are going well, something comes along and reminds you that life isn't fair, 

and you're not allowed to be happy,

 and you're not allowed to forget all the bad stuff

and you are not allowed to make anyone else happy because of your selfness.

i mean it was just a moment, i let myself live and cheer 

and then it happened. it was good, really good.

it's not that i miss you boy, is that i'm self-centered sometimes and i hate that

once again in public i'm admitting it. 'i am really sorry'

I would like to go somewhere where no one knows, and no one remembers. It's too hard being here now.

But i'm too strong,right? I'll stay here and face it. Just wish me luck, i need it.

Life is easy with eyes closed.

What if a demon were to creep after you one day or night, in your loneliest loneness

 and say: "This life which you live and have lived, must be lived again by you, and innumerable times more. 

And there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and every sigh— everything unspeakably small and great in your life—must come again to you, and in the same sequence and series.

" Would you not throw your self down and curse the demon who spoke to you thus?

Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment, 

in which you would answer him: "Thou art a god, and never have I heard anything more divine!" 

                                                                                              - Nietzsche, The Gay Science (1882)

What you gonna do Katie?

'every morning i wake up with the knowledge the best moment of my day has already pass'

That is, sorrow and suffering and hate everywhere 

and you can feel the weight of it crushing your very soul 

So you close your eye's and you believe and you believe hard.

In God, In Science, In Karma and even in the fact that the world inside your head could be real somewhere

Even if somewhere in your heart you no it cant be so

you no she will never let you explain why you did what you did

you no you will never become that great, you no you will never be loved that much 

The Libertines - What Katie Did

(recently i'm in love with this song, take a look.)

how do we say goodbye if we've hardly said hello?

oh my goodness goodness! 

i hope everyone enjoyed their spring break, a month is only left guys.

keep up the good work, lock horns with the exams.

i beat myself internally about what i want in my life, and how it contradicts what i need. 

i have been told i think too much, 

but still, it's a little daunting to realise

 that you are a sex-aholic and a relationship-ruiner(there's no such world, i know)

i am a little bit of a scatterbrain of emotions, but i guess i just want what every human wants:

 a sense of constancy against a wave of overwhelming instability. 

i hope everybody takes time to acknowledge that life is beautiful. 

see life in technicolor, and not black and white. 

Allie. xx

London's Calling.

It's amazing how exhilarating a simple trip off town can be.

I wonder if you missed my presence and my posts in blogspot. 

I can admit that this period of my life was a bit too difficult,

some things are just hard to write about.

I've just met the girlfriend of my ex/best friend. She's lovable,veritably!

My inner self is a bit jealous, but wholesale i'm happy for both.

My psych isn't so shitty, but still i feel like having a giant whole inside me. 

I don't want to feel complete, just a little less empty.

california girl, show your teeth

My soul is a hidden orchestra; I know not what instruments,

 what fiddlestrings and harps,drums and tambours I sound and clash inside myself. 

All i hear is a symphony.         

                                                                              -Fernando Pessoa.